Family Wedding

I know we all missed Roger this weekend at his niece's wedding. I knew this wedding was going to be hard for me and it didn't let me down. I did pretty well until the song From This Moment was sung. I cried like I haven't for awhile. I have realized that I just don't know when and what will set off the emotions. I have also realized that's okay; it is a release that is part of the healing. The Lord made us with these emotions so we could heal from our hurts. My boys and my girls were there for me the whole time; they were so protective and caring. They knew how I was hurting and comforted me. Sarah and Jeremy, the bride and groom, were also so compassionate and kind; I know they missed Roger also and wished he could have been there. Maybe the Lord gave Roger the chance to watch for just awhile to see how beautiful and happy his niece looked and how proud he could be of his own children in taking care of me.

Lord, please tell Roger how much I love him and that I miss him so much. Let him know, Jesus, that you are faithful to me and that You are giving me strength to get thru each day.

Family Wedding

In a few days, I will be going to Roger's nieces's wedding. This will be the first time with Roger's family since the memorial service. I want this wedding to be a happy time and a wonderful memory. I wish Roger could be there but that was not in God's plan. My kids will be there with me so part of Roger will be there. I know there will be tears; tears of missing Roger but also tears of joy for the couple.

Those Darn Computers!

Last night I was so proud of myself for connecting a new printer to my computer and running the software! My old printer died so my niece had a new one that they were not using and gave it to me ; I told you I was blessed! After the software ran, then I couldn't get online for some reason. I tried everything except kicking it! Okay, what was I going to do; e-mail JOHN, Roger's good friend who I knew would come over as soon as he could and he did. He came today and knew what to do. Now I am online again. I am so computer illiterate and now I have two, the regular one and the laptop (which by the way also need something done on it which of course, John did). Thanks, John and I know Roger would be pleased. Told you I was blessed!

Summer is Here!

This is the day that the Lord has made and what a perfect job He did. Not only the weather is perfect but I am thinking of all the blessings the Lord has given to me. Some people told me that people in my life will start to disappear after Roger's memorial service; they didn't know the people in my life. Every day I am doing something special with a friend or a family member and then when I do come home, I get phone calls. The Lord called home my best friend in April but He has given me so many wonderful friends and family to help me each day to get thru my loss. Thank you dear ones in my life!

Awesome Father's Day

This morning as I got up to get ready for church, I was sitting on the bed looking at Roger's picture on the table. As he was smiling at me, I was wishing him a Happy Father's Day and then an awesome God thought came. He is in heaven with our Heavenly Father. What an awesome Father's Day he is having. I know Roger praises and worships every day The Father and every day in Heaven is Father's Day but for those of us here it is a beautiful vision. It gives me God goose bumps just thinking about that. Guess who Roger is worshiping with? His earthly father! Couldn't be better than that!

June the Wedding Month

I have three weddings this month to attend. The first two are friends whose daughters got married. Roger and I have known them for years. They were beautiful weddings and it was nice to celebrate with many friends. With each wedding, Roger's absence from my side was so hard. As people would share with me some news, my mind would think I need to share this with Roger and then reality would hit; Roger is not here to share with. That is one of the things I miss the most. I thank God for the two weddings before the third one at the end of June. The first two I believe were a preparation for the third which is Roger's niece's wedding. Roger's absence will be missed by many family. I am so thankful that Jason, Carolyn, David and Carrie will be with me. When they are with me, part of Roger is with me also. So many firsts; will I ever feel comfortable going places by myself? I guess, that is why I have forced myself to do things. I need to get use to being by myself. I don't like it but I don't have a choice. I am not one to sit home and feel sorry for myself; if I did that how could the Lord use me where he needs me. I think that God uses us even when we grieve; life doesn't stop it just changes.

Practice What I Write!

Whew what a weekend! I was whining up a storm and feeling sorry for myself big time. Have you ever done that? Things were just not going right; I felt some depression coming in and those darn neighbor's maple trees were losing their helicopter seeds all in my back yard. My grass was full and all the rock I have down was covered. Another year of being on my hands and knees picking them up ONE BY ONE. Today, I was whining about that to my friend at church and she was kind enough to listen to all of my whoas. This afternoon God told me I needed to practice what I write. My last entry was Count your Blessings Name Them ONE BY ONE! Shame on me for complaining that I have all that work to do which yes it is tedious but I still am able to get down on my hand and knees to do it. How many people wish they had a house and a yard to work in? So this afternoon as I was down on my hands and knees, I started to thank the Lord for each seed that I was picking up. I can't say I had an instant love for those unsightly things but the Lord gave me another insight into the job at hand.

Count Your Blessings Name Them One By One

That is what I am doing today; counting my blessings. That beautiful old hymn came to mind and it is so true. I am blessed with a wonderful family, wonderful friends, wonderful church, beautiful home, car, my turtle Bethie (yes I have a pet turtle and yes I said PET), my back feeling so much better, financial provisions by Rogie for me, but most of all Jesus who loves me and walks me thru my journey. His mercy is new every morning! What a blessing to know that I am His and He is mine. My huge blessing today is that I received a letter from my mortgage company stating that my mortgage is paid in full; thanks to Roger's great planning with his life insurance. What a wonderful feeling! Another blessing today; I called Bible Study Fellowship to find out how much has been donated in Roger's memory and so far they have received $2300! Roger is even blessing others thru his death. I know he is hearing,"Well done good and faithful servant."