Leaning and Trusting

I thankful it has been a year but the memories are so very hard. Thank you for my therapy session today This is the day a year ago that Roger had his biopsy and we were told it was terminal, stage 4 brain cancer. This was the day my world changed. My world was not only changing it seemed to be unraveling and there was nothing I could do about it. It was the day that I had to give Roger over to the Lord and His will. I wanted to fix it and make it all better. I wanted our life back the way it was. I wanted my husband back whole again. I cried, fell on my knees and pleaded with God to restore Roger. That day was like living in a nightmare that I just could not wake up from. It couldn't be happening to us! How could life change so drastically in a blink of an eye? How could our life go from being content and happy one day and full of pain and fear the next? It was a day I found out what the word "wailing" was. It came from the depth of my soul; it kept welling up with groans until reality took over and I needed to get up and leave that conference room with my family to go to my husband and reassure him that all will be well even when I felt otherwise.
When I saw him sitting in the bed eating his hamburger, all the reassurance I was going to give him, all the talk of God's will and all the smiles of trust went out the window. Roger was the strong one; the one who reassured me, the one who talked about God's will and the one who talked about trust. Now a year later, I look back and see that day was the hardest day of my life. I had to come to terms of Roger having terminal cancer and what that looks like for us. Where could I go for those answers? How would anyone be able to tell me what that means for Roger, myself and our family? Roger and I found those answers together in the Lord. The answer was "lean on Me and trust". I am still a year later leaning and trusting in the One who weeps with me, who holds me in his arms to comfort me and who leads me by His righteous right hand; my Savior, my all.

Battle Hymn

Okay bloggers (are you impressed that I used that term!) do you need an uplift today? No, I don't mean a physical one but I do mean a spiritual one. It is a video with elementary and high school choirs that are singing this beautiful hymn. On one of the slides, Jesus is holding a little lamb. Picture yourself as that lamb He is so lovingly holding. It will bring you comfort and tears. It just brings to my mind how far our country has strayed and how Christ is waiting for us to come back to be held once again in His everlasting arms. Here is the site; www.greatdanepromilitary.com then go to link new pages and click on Battle Hymn. I am sure this was for Veterans Day but when you see it you will find that it is for all of us. Enjoy!

GOOD NEWS

I talked to the doctor today and there is no cancer in my lung! Praise the Lord! Thank you for praying for me. He said that there is something in there but we will not know until the end of December what kind of infection it is. Now would you pray with me for a healing of my lung! It was so nice to hear the words not cancer. I have alot to be thankful for and I hope I never take that for granted. The Lord is good all of the time.

Lung Biopsy Update

Thanks for the prayers yesterday. All went well. My lung stayed inflated and there was not bleeding; God is Good! I will find out on Tuesday alittle more from the doctor. He will be able to tell me than that it is not cancerous. He feels it is a chronic infection that will take awhile to get rid of. I am so thankful that Jason and Carolyn , David and Carrie were there with me. Jason and Carolyn were with me physically and in prayer, David and Carrie were with me in prayer. All of your prayers were strongly felt and the Lord gave me such peace. After they gave me the happy juice, I knew nothing. I was gone. I remember talking to the doctor and then all of a sudden I remember nothing. I was probably in mid-sentence when I dosed off. I am sure I was saying something very important, too! That is one way to keep me from talking!

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalms 4:8

Another Journey

God doesn't give us more than we can handle! I must not be at my limit yet. He has given me a new challenge and journey to go thru; praise the Lord He is still working on me. Next Friday morning, I go into United Hospital for a lung biopsy. I have had a nodule in my left lung for a few years. I decided to go see my lung doctor again after 3 years of not having a CAT scan. My insurance will be running out in April so I thought I should get that checked again ( A GOD thought). Dr. Wright agreed that I should have it checked because of some symptoms I was having. It has grown alot and I now have alot of spots in my lung. He wants to do a biopsy to see what it is. I had to ask him the difficult question that has the "C" word in it. He does not believe it is cancer; he thinks it might be an infection that will take a year of medication to get rid of. Alot of you know that I can not tolerate meds very well but then I have to remind myself that I am getting ahead of God and He already is on the job! I am praying for a complete healing so when the doctor goes in he won't even be able to see any problem; that would be a miracle. Would you also pray along with me? I also know that God's plan for our lives is not our plan for our lives so whatever the Lord needs me to walk thru, I can and will do it with Him by my side.