Caring Bridge

Thought I would let those of you who read my blog know that I now have a Caring Bridge website if you have not already been notified and would like to read it. The site is www.caringbridge.org/visit/joycecounihan. The site password is pray4joycie. You will be asked to register only once with your e-mail unless you have previously registered. So for now I will no longer be blogging but doing the Caring Bridge instead.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR

What a beautiful Christmas I had! You might be wondering how I can say that when Roger wasn't with me. Oh, you would be wrong. He was with me. He was with me thru our boys. He will always be with me thru them. They are so special to me and I know he loved them dearly. How proud he would be of them this Christmas season. They made me feel loved and special and so did my girls. We decided to be brave and watch some past Christmas'. That was good; I didn't want Roger not to be part of our time together on Christmas Eve. It was hard seeing him and hearing his voice singing all of the Christmas songs he loved. It reminded me that he is still singing but in a bigger and better way; face to face with Jesus. What a choir he must be in. I can just hear him singing with the gusto he always had when he sang to the Lord.

Christmas day we went our separate ways but I was still being taken care of. I went with my brother, Marlin and sister-in-law, Wilma to their lake home and spent the night with my wonderful family. My sweet niece, Barb and her husband, Blaine brought me back to the cities with them. They spoil me and I have to admit I love it; that helps the loss.

I took my third and last pill today. A total of 1700mg today. God has been answering prayers greatly. Barb prayed for me this morning before I took my pill and I am feeling great so far. Yesterday at the lake, my great niece, Breanne, prayed for me before taking the other pills and I felt great all day. Before having this lung infection, I didn't seem to ask people to pray for me as much as I do now. Could that be one of the reasons that I am going thru this; humbling me to ask for prayer? I know I have many people praying for me; I am sure the circuits are busy to the Lord. Now we have to remember not only to ask but to praise Him before anything else.

God IS With Us!

Do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

These are from the book of Isaiah and they are my lifeline. I pray them every morning. He has answered my prayers. My fear is gone and He is healing me; emotionally, physically and most of all spiritually. The mornings I spend on my knees with Him is amazing.

I have wondered what the purpose is for me this year. The death of Roger, the hard grieving, my health diagnosis and the wide range of emotions I have been going thru has made me question what I need to do with all of this in my journey.

I wasn't able to go to church today because I was snowed in and oh, how I miss it. I went on my church website to listen to the December 14 message on audio. I found out why I am going thru this valley. I had just spoken with Pastor John a few days before the message of the 14th telling him of my health issues and God used this message of a week ago to show me His Plan. It has encouraged me to move forward with God's mercy and grace and to touch people for Him that I never thought I could. I would love for you to listen to the message on the audio link www.hopechurchoakdale.com. It only takes about 30 minutes and I think you will be truly blessed and encouraged thru any valley's you might be going thru and will be in the future. I know after you listen to Pastor John's message you will see why the Lord brought Roger and myself to this church for such a time as this.

The Healing Prayer Room

Would you like to hear about my "yahoo" day? You hear about my down days so I had better share with you my answer to prayer days. Yesterday, I took my first new pill and started to feel not very good by afternoon; now you are saying I thought this was going to be good news. It is just hang in there. That evening my friend, Bonnie and I went to the Healing Room on the east side of St. Paul. A missionary couple from her church runs it. There were three people there who annointed and prayed over me. I could feel the tension and depression leave my body which was replaced with hope and trust in the Lord. The Lord met me right where I was and The Holy Spirit did His filling in me last night. I slept so good and woke up this morning feeling great. I even went to exercise. I take another pill tomorrow but I know I will be fine.

1Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered alittle while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Dark Week

Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Eph. 6:10. I just read that tonight and it was what I needed to read. This week has been a week of feeling scared, fearful and silence from the Lord. I have now realized that I was so full of fear and doubt that there was no room for Him and I wasn't hearing His voice. I have to get rid of the fear so I can be filled with Him. I cried out to Him and I thought He was silent but I don't think He was; I wasn't listening!

The first antibotic didn't work. After taking it for 2 days, I was so sick so the doctor took me off of it and wants me to try another that is a little easier on the stomach as soon as my stomach can tolerate it. I am hoping that will be this week sometime so that next week I can start the other antibotic and then the week after then I can start the next. That is where it gets so overwhelming; when I think about the other two and how am I going to handle all of that in my body when I could even handle the first one. That is when the darkness comes in around me and fear takes over. That is when I have to hear His voice to calm me.

His Mercies Are New Every Morning

As I would say on Roger's caring bridge site, it was a "yahoo" day. I went to see my new family physician just to get a second opinion on my anemia and Vitamin D deficiency that now my past doctor said I had. This is not Dr. Wright, my lung doctor. I am sticking with him; he is excellent. Anyway, Dr. Ramsay today looked at my chart and I am hardly anemic and that it is caused by my lung infection and that should get better as my infection does. Also the other doctor put me on a huge Vitamin D amount which today I found out was very dangerous. I guess Vitamin D stays in the body and I could have overdosed on it. She told me to throw the pills away and go to the drug store and buy a bottle of Vitamin D 1000units and take daily. She said that is all women need. She said my blood pressure was great versus the other doctor who said it wasn't good enough. I came out of there feeling so much better about my health. She said that I am in good health except for my lungs and that Dr. Wright is correct I have to tolerate the meds; there is no choice. Today was the first day I took the first round of pills. A few more sores in my mouth but nothing that I can't tolerate. I know it takes awhile for the drug to build up in the system so keep praying that I will not have any side effects and that it will not take as long as they think. Wouldn't all of that be a God miracle. He is still a God of miracles so I am counting on that. Thanks for checking in on me.

My New Journey

My new journey begins tomorrow morning. I start heavy doses of antibiotics. I found out today that I have MAI in both of my lungs. It is not contagious but is a form of TB and needs to be treated aggressively. I will have to be on them for 12-18 months. They will have to monitor me closely because of potential harm to the liver and blood cells. For those of you that know me well, I have a hard time tolerating meds and there is not a choice; I need to be on these. I would appreciate everyones prayers that my body will tolerate these 3 different antibiotics that I will have to take 3 times a week for many months. Please pray for God's hand on my body. It is times like these that not having Roger by my side to help me thru this is so hard. Don't get me wrong, I miss him all the time but being alone when one comes against something like this makes it harder. A friend of mine called me tonight and the Lord brought a Bible verse to here awhile ago and she shared it with me. Isaiah 54:5, For your Maker is your husband, the Lord Almighty is His name. Thank you, Charlena, for that verse. It will be a verse that I will claim as mine thru this valley.

Therapy Session #2

In March, I prayed to the Lord that I know He gives me only what I can handle and that I was ready to go over the edge and He heard my prayer and got Roger into the Pillars a day later. I am so close to that edge again; not quite there but heading that way. Since Roger's death so many things have happened that I can't even remember them all but thru each one the Lord's hand was guiding me. I am now praying the same prayer that before the edge comes, He will rescue me one more time. Coming home from David and Carrie's on Sunday, the weather turned bad and I hit ice and my car went out of control and hit guard rails. Praise the Lord I was not hurt nor did my car hit another car which was a God miracle since I spun around and went across the other lane. My car got alot of damage but was driveable. I was not the only car that had an accident on that over pass. There was a car ahead of me that also did the same thing but they had to tow that car away. The officer sent me on my way after awhile and I drove most of the way home on pure ice. Finally, the trucks got out and started sanding; they were not very quick getting out. My car is going in this morning to the car hospital and I will get a loaner. So you see, The Lord was with me and guiding my steps. I was not hurt, no other car hit me, the damage to my car could have been major, no other person was involved, my car withstood the impacts well, I got home safe and He gave me the strength to drive the rest of the way without shaking! HE WAS WITH ME! I can't loose sight of that. Today I go in to my lung doctor for an appointment that was sooner than I expected. His office called and said that he does not want me to wait until the 19th to see him. He had said that the culture in the lab would not be done until the end of December so I must have one healthy infection that grew so fast. I have to admit that I am alittle worried about the results and will be glad when today is done. I know that HE WILL BE WITH ME again! I just can't let fear take over and loose that very important focus. Thanks again for my therapy session. I may have to start paying you for these times. Blessings