Be Still

Last night I ate dinner at my kitchen table. That may not seem like a big thing and may seem quite normal but for me it was a first without Roger. I usually eat in front of the TV to help pass that time of loneliness. Last night, I just needed to have that first not be a first anymore. As I sat there and was thinking while I ate, I remembered the movie Sixth Sense that was out many years ago. It was about a man that was killed but didn't know it. He thought he was still alive and tried to talk to his wife but she would not answer him because she could not see him or hear him. Now this movie goes against everything I believe. I believe Roger is in Heaven with Jesus and doesn't come back to be with me as the movie shows but last night as I sat there looking at Roger's chair in the kitchen, just for a moment, I allowed myself to think what if Roger is sitting in his chair talking to me and comforting me and I not know it. Okay, you might be thinking that I am really falling off the deep end; don't worry, I'm not! I know Roger is with me but not in the way the movie shows; he is with me always in my heart and in my memories. Another first, that is no longer a first and it was a good thing. Loneliness is a not a good feeling so I try to fill that part of my life with things to do like being gone, TV, reading, yard work, talking on the phone, games on the computer or others. Loneliness doesn't have to be a time that has to be filled with busyness; not all of the time. I have to take advantage of that time to fill it with more important comforts like spending time with the Lord. He is the lasting comfort; all the others never last. It was in the quiet of the night that Samuel (in the Bible) heard God's voice; he was quiet so he could hear the voice of God. How can I possible hear God speaking to me when I fill it with all the other worldly things that are only temporary. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is "Be still and know I am God". I need to remember that and be reminded of that as I go thru my journey. Remembering that verse is not enough; I need to DO IT.